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Kisses under starry night skies.
Talked about in song, we play along.
So bittersweet, by our design.

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9 January 10

Gives Me Hope, 2.

~

“Eric!” I shouted, chasing after him. “Give it back!” When I finally reached him, I jumped on his back.

“‘I love you!’” he read, mocking my voice.

“Eric!”

“‘I love you too, Baby!’” he said in a low, creeper-ish voice.

“Bryce does not sound like that!”

We finally fell onto the ground, laughing hysterically.

“And we were just playing around.”

“Mmhm, sure,” our friend, Ethan Goldstein, said, standing above us.

“Really.” I grinned. “At least for now.”

Eric (Johnston) laughed. “Bry is not right for you, girlfriend,” he said in a girl-like voice.

“Why not?”

“Because I love you.” He pouted, hinting it was a joke.

“Aw! Eric!” I rolled on top of him. “Ethan, Kelse — get on.”

“No!” Eric yelled. “Alicein’s too fat already. I don’t need extra weight.”

“She is not fat!” Eric’s sister, Kelsey Monet, responded. “Bro, you’re just jealous she loves Bryce, and not you.”

“I admit it, I am pretty damn jealous.”

I kissed him on the lips. “Don’t be! He’s crushing hard on Tina, anyways.”

“Hey, Eric?” Kelsey asked. “Who told Jess about you and Ms. Jefferson?”

“I did, why?”

“Because he told Stacy.”

“What?”

I got off him. “What the hell?”

“She just texted me saying, “Jess told me about your bro and how he and Ms. J made out and almost did it. And he was with Amy? What a whore.”

“Holy shit, man,” Ethan said. “Ms. J? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was a whore.”

“Oh…” He paused. “Did you love her?”

He looked up at Ethan. “I did.”

“Well, I don’t blame you. She was young and beautiful and full of life,” Kelsey said.

Eric nodded. “Rest in peace, J.C.” He frowned.

“Excuse me.” He stood up. “I need to call Jess. You guys go to the movies first. I’ll meet you there.” He handed me my phone and walked away.

Posted: 1:46 AM

Gives Me Hope. (I guess that’ll be the title.)

He handed me a white daisy. “Everyone’s talking about you.”

I stared at him, confused, but I took the flower. “What are these people saying?”

“They’re saying you look hott, but they wouldn’t be caught d—…dead being with you because you’re too much of a loser slash poser.”

I ignored the “pun” that he tried to (sort of) cover up. “Then why did you give me this?” I held up the flower.

“Because you’re beautiful, sweet, and smart. And everyone deserves a second chance at life — well, high school.” He smiled. “And definitely happiness.” He held out his hand.

I took it and we moved to the dancefloor. “How would you know I’m sweet?”

“Because I’m your little stalker.” He giggled a giggle so subtle and light, it was peculiarly adorable.

“Glad to know I have one.” I smiled up at him.

He raised my arm and ran his finger over my slightly scarred, pale skin. “Glad to know your arm is healing and not newly scratched.”

I jerked my arm back, clutching the daisy still.

“I’m sorry.” He took the white flower and stuck it in my hair. “You know, looking at the positives in life is less painful — mentally and physically,” he said, casually.

I looked into his deep green eyes, ignoring the comments people were making off to the side.

“Personally, I don’t think self-harm is a great way to cope. There are other things to do, like being with your friends, picking up a hobby. Something — anything to keep you happy and distracted.”

I laid my head on his shoulder. I had nothing to say.

“And, you know, going to a This Providence concert would be nice.”

I smiled. “Are you inviting me to a This Providence concert with you?”

“With me, my friends.”

“How did you know?”

“You have like, five different shirts, I noticed. And you have them on your binder.”

“I’ll go.”

“Great.

“Oh, I’m Eric, by the way.”

“I know.” I kissed his cheek.

20 July 09

Blah. NEW STORY COMING.

I apologize for not finishing any of the stories I’ve started.

I have a tendency to do that.

But, if you really want me to finish them (or try, at least), I will.

Also, my newer posts will be formatted wayy better than before because now I’m educated in story formatting.

Hah.

16 March 09

Tell Me That You Love Me ;;Garrett Nickelsen;;

“Are you tired?” Kennedy asked. “Yes,” I answered, yawning. “Aw, poor Danni,” Garrett said. “I wanna go to sleep,” I said to no one in particular, closing my eyes. “Go ahead,” Kennedy told me.

~Garrett pulled me into a hug. “Danni…I love you,” he said, kissing my cheek and caressing my arms. “I love you, too, Garrett,” I replied, smiling. The door to Garrett’s room flew open and there stood Pat. “Danielle…I can’t…I don’t…understand,” Pat started. “Why would you do this?” “I-I,” I sputtered. “No, Danni. We’re done,” he responded.~

My eyes quickly opened and I jolted upright, looking around me. “What’s wrong?” Kennedy asked, concern written all over his face. “Oh, nothing,” I lied. I stood up and rushed toward the bathroom. “Where are you going?” Pat called after me. “Bathroom,” I shouted.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned around. I became face-to-face with Sierra. “What’s wrong?” she asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. “I’m getting…paranoid,” I told her, grabbing her arm and dragging her into the bathroom.

“About what?” she asked after we were in the one person bathroom. I locked the door and leaned against it. “I keep thinking about Garrett. It’s not even funny. I’m like…obsessed with him,” I told her. “I’m going crazy. I mean, I love Pat and I want him to be my boyfriend, but Garrett is like…—”

She cut me off. “I know what you’re trying to say. You love both Garrett and Pat.”

“I do. And I don’t know what to do. Should I just break up with Pat and just push them out of my life? Or do you think it’s just an infatuation that I’ll get over?”

“One: NO! DO NOT BREAK UP WITH PAT AND DO NOT PUSH THEM AWAY. They’re great guys and you’ll regret it if you just try to forget them. Two: I don’t even know. It may be. Garrett’s charming, so maybe it’s just that little fangirl inside of you who’s making you obsessed with him.”

I bit my lower lip. “Should I tell Pat? Should I tell Garrett?” I paced back and forth.

“Calm down, Danni.” Sierra grabbed my arm and stopped my walking. “Frankly, I think you should tell Pat and Garrett. Both of them should know.”

“But I just want to tell Pat so he could tell me what I should do.”

“I’d think that it would be hard to tell Garrett after you tell Pat.”

“But what if I don’t want to tell Garrett?”

“I’m sorry, honey, but I don’t know what to say. I can’t tell you what to do.”

“You’re right. I’m in control of my life.” I unlocked the door and walked out. “I’m just going to tell Pat and see what his reaction is, so I could get it over with.” I marched toward Pat, Sierra right behind me.

Pat looked at me and raised his eyebrows. “Danni, you alright?” he asked as I abruptly stopped in front of him.

“I need to speak to you,” I told him, pulling him to the side.

18 January 09

Tell Me That You Love Me ;;Garrett Nickelsen;;

“Hey, she’s awake!” Garrett yelled as we reached them. “Hey, Garrett,” I said, smiling. “Hey, Future Mrs. Danielle Kirch,” John joked. “Whatever, John,” I told him, giggling a bit. I looked up at Pat’s face and he kissed my lips. “Hey, I said Future Mrs. Danni Kirch,” John said. “Whenever you’re ready because I know Pat is ready.” John laughed. “Not yet, John,” Pat said, laughing along. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, sitting down on the metal surrounding the rotating luggage carrier.

Garrett seated himself next to me and gave me a hug. “I wish you weren’t asleep when I grabbed your bags,” he told me, still holding on to my being. “I’m sorry,” I said, hugging him back. “I can’t help it. I get tired on long rides.” He let go and sat up straight. “It’s alright,” he replied. He kissed my cheek, which sent tremors down my spine.

“Hey, hey, hey, Garrett. She’s my girlfriend,” Pat interrupted and sat down on the other side of me. “I know. I’m sorry, Pat,” Garrett replied, smiling. “She’s just too cute.” I felt my face get hot when he finished that sentence. “You are too,” I replied, looking away. “Hahah,” Garrett laughed. “I remember the first time we met and you took that picture of me…You’re tone made it clear that you thought I was cute and you loved me.” “She may have had a fan girl crush on you, but she actually loves me,” Pat told him.

My eyes widened as I heard Pat say that. I looked up at his face. “Do you?” he asked, giving me a soft kiss on my lips. I looked back down and bit my lower lip. “I…do,” I told him, slowly. I looked up to a big fat smile on his face. “I love you, too,” Pat said and pulled me into a huge hug.

“I found them!” John yelled. I pulled away from Pat and stood up. “What? Our luggage?” I asked. “Yes,” he told me, bending over to grab 2 bulky suitcases. “Well, yours and Garrett’s.” He handed me my purple suitcase. “Thanks,” I said, sitting back down.

But when I sat down, I didn’t feel the cold metal, I felt someone’s warm lap. I looked back and saw Kennedy. “Hey,” he said, giving me a hug with one arm. “Hi, Kennedy,” I replied, hugging him back. “Guess where I went and guess what I got,” he told me, smiling. “…You were gone?” I asked, feeling foolish.

“Yeah. You didn’t notice I wasn’t here. Jared isn’t here either.”

“I’m sorry.” I pouted, but quickly smiled. “Where is Jared?”

“He went to go look for VE. Now…guess where I was and what I got.”

“Oh. Um…you went to Starbucks and got coffee?”

“Nope. 2 more guesses.”

“You went to help Jared look for VersaEmerge and stopped by some place to get some candy?”

“Nope.”

I frowned and thought. “Hm…You…er…waited for me, but then you got bored so you went to get some food?”

“No. I went to the gift store!” He grinned and extended his arm that didn’t hug me, revealing a teddy bear. “It’s for you.”

“Aw…” I kindly grabbed the bear. “Thank you, Kennedy!” I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“IT’S FROM ME,” Pat sort of yelled, playfully. He sat on my lap, which made Kennedy grunt a little bit. “I gave him the money to buy it.” “Don’t be jealous, Pat. I wouldn’t steal your girl,” Kennedy assured him.

I laughed and gave Pat a kiss on the cheek. “You should know your bandmates, Patrick. They wouldn’t do that kind of thing, right?” I asked him. “I know, I know,” he replied, caressing my cheek. “Pat, can you please get your fat ass off?” Kennedy asked. Pat obeyed and got off. “I’m not fat.” He pouted.

“That is true,” John butted in. “Pat is so scrawny.” Pat giggled and nodded Kennedy gave Pat a look. “You let him call you scrawny?” he asked. “But it’s the truth, Kennedy,” Pat said. “It is,” Garrett told us. “Pat kind of has chicken-legs.” “I do,” Pat agreed. I smiled and rested my head against Kennedy’s.

Posted: 7:02 PM

Tell Me That You Love Me ;;Garrett Nickelsen;;

We spotted Kenny and John in front of a water fountain, waiting for us. We sauntered over to them and sat next to them. “Holy sh—, guys. What took you so long?” John asked. “It’s my fault,” Sierra told him. “I thought I should go back to the hotel to practice with the guys. But they said that I should relax and have fun.” “Well, I hope you don’t think of going back again. You shouldn’t worry,” Kennedy told her. “We’re fun and we’ll get you back in time to practice with your guys.” Sierra smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“Hey, where’s Pat?” I asked. “Oh, he’s in the bathroom doing some sh— with his hair,” John replied. I nodded and walked toward the bathrooms. “I’ll be back,” I yelled to them.

I went through the hall to go to the bathroom and spotted a unisex bathroom. I knocked on it, hoping Pat was in there, since he said he’d always go in a unisex bathroom if there was one. “Occupied,” his voice yelled. “It’s just Danielle,” I told him. He opened the door. “Oh, hey,” he said, opening the door wider for me to go in. “Hey,” I replied, walking in and leaning against a wall. “What’s up?” he asked. “Can I ask you something?” I said, looking in his eyes. “Yeah, sure. What is it?” he asked. “Well, Sierra said that—” He cut me off. “Garrett adored you?” he assumed. “Yeah. Well…I want to know – and I’m asking you because you’re like, his best friend– if he does,” I told him. “He does,” Pat responded, straightforwardly. “But he just doesn’t want you to know because he’s afraid of getting rejected.”

“Garrett? Since when is he afraid of getting rejected?”

“I’m not sure. But he is scared.”

“What? This is a joke, right? I mean, he can’t. He wouldn’t.”

“He would.” Pat looked to the mirror at his reflection. He fixed his hair and walked to the door. “Well…what should I do?” I asked, following close behind him. “Don’t tell Garrett that you know, he’ll feel super awkward and ignore you,” Pat told me, opening the door for me. “Thank you,” I said. “Oh, man. But what if I…feel the…same way?” I looked up into Pat’s brown eyes with mine. “He wouldn’t believe it,” Pat answered, grinning. “How cute, though. You love him, don’t you?” “I might. But for now, I just like him…a lot.” I smiled.

“Well, if you really do want to tell him,” Pat whispered, since we were a couple feet away from Garrett. “You should do it when he’s in a really good mood.” “Should I tell him when he’s alone? Would he like that?” I whispered back. “Yeah,” Pat replied, nodding.

“What took you so long, Pat?” Garrett asked him. “Well, we were talking,” Pat answered. “About what?” John said. “Oh, um…about stuff,” I replied, giving him a big smile. “Like…?” John stared at me, waiting for me to answer. “About my hair,” Pat answered, quickly. “Oh. You love your hair, don’t you, Pat?” John asked, tittering a little bit. “Yes, I do,” Pat replied, smiling.

“Alright, we’re here in the mall,” Garrett said. “Who are you talking to?” I asked. But then I realized he was recording on his computer. He lifted the computer up and rotated it. “It’s

f——-g HUGE,” I practically yelled, causing people to stare at me. “It is,” Garrett said, grinning at me. I smiled back and turned to Pat.

“Take him to a private spot and tell him now,” he insisted, quietly. “I…guess,” I said, slowly turning to Garrett. “Hey, Garrett…Can I talk to you alone?” Garrett nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He started toward a vacant bench. I followed and sat down.

“What’s up?” Garrett asked, staring into eyes, which made me melt like I did on the first day I met him. I took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to say this…but…I know that you have a thing for me—” He cut me off. “How do you know?” he said. “Am I that obvious?” “Um…Sierra said you did, and Pat said you did,” I replied. “And Pat told me that I should tell you alone when you’re happy—“ He cut me off, yet again. “I…can’t do this,” Garrett told me, standing up. “I have to get back to the guys.” He ambled over to John, Pat, Sierra, and Kennedy. I sat there and put my head in me hands.

Someone gently touched my shoulder and I recognized the feeling. I looked up and saw who I expected. “Hey, Danielle,” Pat said, sitting down next to me. “What happened?” “I didn’t even get a chance to tell him,” I forced the words to come out, no matter how cliché it sounded. “What did you tell him before he left you?” Pat asked. He left me… “I told him that I knew he had something for me…and that you and Sierra said so,” I told him. “You should’ve started with, ‘Garrett, I really like you,’” Pat responded. “Now he’s going to be zoning me, you, and Sierra out.”

“That is not good. At all.” I looked down at my purple Vans. “Is it going to be like…Hell to me?”

“It depends how much you care about him. It might seem like he’s a little kid who hates you.”

“Ignoring? Acting immature? Trying to make me jealous?”

“Yeah. It’s awful. I hate it so much. It’s like some immature little preteen took over his body. And he doesn’t give a sh— about what we do. Sometimes, he could even seem physically depressed…”

“No. I don’t want it to end like this. He’s probably not gonna give a f—- about me, but I’m going to tell him. Like…right now.”

I stood up and marched over to Garrett, Pat hot on my heels. “Garrett!!” I yelled. He turned to me, a sad look filling his eyes. “I…” My voice trailed off as almost everyone’s eyes were on me. “I-I…,” I whispered, looking down. But, I heard his footsteps pounding, and then fading… ~

“…Danielle. Wake up,” a familiar voice called. My eyes flickered open and there stood Pat. “Hey, sunshine,” he said, pulling me off of me seat, and then kissing my face. “We’re in the UK,” he told me, putting his arm around my waist, walking me out the airplane door. “Where’s my carry-on and stuff?” I asked, wiping the siesta [sleep] from my eyes and yawning. “Garrett took it,” Pat replied. “Where are John and Jared and everyone else?” I said, looking around for the rest of the horde. “They’re already heading towards Baggage Claim.” “Oh, alright,” I said, leaning against Pat’s body as we walked to the Baggage Claim.

Posted: 7:00 PM

Tell Me That You Love Me ;;Garrett Nickelsen;; 2

When Garrett came, Sierra pretty much dragged me into the car. “JOHN!” she squealed as she slid down the seat to sit next to him. “Hey, Sierra,” John O’Callaghan said, hugging her. “Hi, John,” I said. “DanDan!” he screamed. “No, John,” I said, climbing into the back of the van to sit with Kennedy Brock, since he was the only one willing to take a seat in the back to keep me company, despite the fact that there were 3 seats in the middle. “I don’t allow you to call my DanDan.” “Why not?” he asked. “It’s your nickname! Like I’m John Ohhh, Garrett’s Gary, Kennedy’s Kenny, Jared’s Red, Pat’s Ratboy, Sierra’s…I don’t know.” He turned to her. “I’m…—” She got cut off by Garrett. “SISI!” he yelled, holding on the steering wheel. “Okay,” she said. “Okay,” John responded, turning back to me. “Sierra’s Sisi. You are…?” He waited for me to finish his sentence. “I’m Danni. Short for Danielle,” I said. “But it doesn’t shorten the name when you say it,” he told me. “So? Gary doesn’t shorten the name Garrett when you say it. And John Ohhh adds to the name,” I replied. “But Danni is so…common,” he said. “Let’s see…You’re first name is Danielle. Your middle name is Chrysanthemum. Your last name is Leon. Let’s mix it up.

“Danchrysle (Dan- Kris-Lee).” John smiled. “Dan. Chrys. Lee.” “Fine,” I approved, smiling. “DANCHRYSLE!” Kennedy yelled. Garrett and Pat Kirch laughed in the front. “Danchrysle?” Garrett asked. “That’s interesting.” “John probably feels proud of himself right now,” Sierra assumed. “I do. I feel so creative,” he replied, self-righteously.

John grabbed the Buzznet phone and started recording. “Guess what,” he said to the camera phone. “I just made up a nickname for Danielle, and it’s awesome.” He turned the camera phone to me. “Tell them what it is, Danielle,” he told me. “Danchrysle,” I told the computer. “And tell them what he got it from,” Sierra insisted. “My first name is Danielle. My middle name is Chrysanthemum. My last name is Leon. Take the first syllables of each name and there you go, Danchrysle,” I said. John turned the phone back on him. “I’m so creative,” he said, smiling. “I’m a genius.”

The car came to a stop at a red light. John turned the phone to Garrett and held it close to his face. “Tell them what’s going on, Garrett,” John said. “We’re just, you know, heading to the mall,” Garrett said. “To shop. At the mall. Because that’s where people shop. At the mall. That’s where we’re going. To the mall.” Sierra, Pat, Kennedy and I laughed. “I think they know we’re going to the mall, Garrett,” John said, starting to laugh. “Tell them which one.” “The one in the UK. I don’t know what it’s called, though,” Garrett told the phone, still up close. “Oh, yeah, baby.”

“Guess what I’m going to get for you, Garrett,” Pat said. “What?” Garrett asked. John turned the phone to Pat. “New underwear,” he said, smiling. “And I’m going to get Jared a hat or sunglasses.” “How about I get the hat or sunglasses and Jared gets the underwear?” Garrett said. “NO!” Pat whined. “You get the underwear!” Garrett giggled and rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever, Patrick,” he said.

“Turn on the radio or something,” I said, to no one in particular. “It’s boring without music.” “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry; never gonna say, ‘Goodbye.’ Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you,” John sang, loudly. “RICKROLLED!” Kennedy cried, and took the phone from John. “It stopped recording!” He pouted. “Aw…Kennedy,” I said, giving him a hug. “It’s alright.” “Use Garrett’s laptop,” Pat said. “Where is it?” Kennedy asked, looked on the floor. “Found it!” He opened the white Mac Notebook, turned on the webcam, and started recording.

“Hey, it’s Kennedy from The Maine,” he said. “Well, we’re finally in the UK and it’s awesome. Our first show is tomorrow night at The Tower in London. And fortunately, all the bands are safely here and are going to play in the show tomorrow.” “And remember that when we come back to America, our first show there is going to be at home. We don’t know the exact day, yet,” John added, pushing himself into the frame. “Yes, that is also true,” Kennedy told the camera. “So…yeah. Just a little update. Bye.” He stopped recording.

“We’re here,” Garrett told us, as if on cue. John and Sierra opened the back doors and slowly went out, Kennedy and I shoving them. “Hey, hey! Don’t push,” Sierra complained to me. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “It’s just that I want to get out and…” “Give Garrett a big kiss?” she asked, teasingly. “Hahah, no. But I am going to hug him,” I said, walking to the front of the car to meet Garrett.

“Finally!” Garrett cuddled me and kissed my cheek, which sent chills down my spine. “I get to hug you!” he said with his arms still wrapped around my body. “10 hours of not communicating with you was like torture.” “Aw…But you know, you didn’t have to do that dare,” I told him. “Yeah, but I can’t say no to a dare. No matter how much it pains. I think this was the worst one yet. 10 hours without you…bad,” he repeated. “You’re cute,” I told him. “Let’s go.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the large mall.

“You’re such a liar!” Sierra shouted at me. She scuttled over to me. “You said you and Garrett weren’t a ‘thing,’ she whispered in my ear. “What is this?” She pulled away from my head and stared at me in the eye. “We aren’t,” I whispered back. She giggled, rolled her eyes, and grabbed my other arm.

“Dude, come on!” John yelled from the front of the mall, Pat and Kennedy by his side. Garrett tugged my hand and ran over to John. “Hey, you run faster than me!” I told Garrett. “Slow down!” He obeyed my command. “I’m sorry,” he said, giving me a hug. “You deserve a better friend than me.” “No, you’re awesome. Don’t say that!” I gave him a hug and realized that Sierra let go of my arm. “Where’d Sierra go?” I asked, looking around. “I’m over here!” Sierra called, crouching on the ground about 5 feet away. “What are you doing?” I said, walking over to her. “I’m tying my shoe, idiot,” she informed me, giggling. “But I’ll hurry up so I don’t miss it when you ask Garrett to go on a date…Or vice versa.” “What?” I asked. “No, I’m not going to ask him out. “

Sierra stood up. “But he does. He’ll ask you if you don’t ask him,” she advised me. “No, he won’t. He knows we’re just friends, which we are.” “Well, I know you like him,” she said. “And I know he likes you.” “I don’t,” I replied, grabbing her arm and dragging her to the guys. “And I know he doesn’t.” “Hahah, yeah, sure.” She giggled. I gave her a serious look. “Fine,” she said, lifting her arms up like she was surrendering. “But I know he’s attracted to you. Actually, I know he’s head over heels for you.” “How?” I asked, stopping about 7 feet away from the others. Sierra stopped also. “He told me,” she replied, simply. “I don’t believe you, Sierra,” I told her. “It’s too surreal. He wouldn’t fall for me.” I looked over at the blue-eyed boy, standing not too far from me, and smiled. He motioned for me to come over to them. “Yes, he would. You’re great,” Sierra told me. “Well, I’m not so sure about that,” I said, walking toward the guys, who started to go in the mall already, except for Garrett. “But you are,” Sierra confirmed.

“Are what?” Garrett asked. “I think she’s great,” Sierra answered, mildly. “But she doesn’t think so.” “Oh, Danielle Leon…You should keep putting yourself down,” Garrett told me, giving me a side-hug. “Because whenever someone compliments you, I know it’s true. Every time someone compliments on your features, it true. You’re absolutely stunning.” He gave me an amorous smile. “Aw…How romantic,” Sierra said, turning to me. “See, Danny. I told you he did.” “No, that just means he cares about me. He’s my friend, so he should care,” I told her, smiling at Garrett. “What are you guys talking about?” he asked no one in particular. “I told her that you liked her, and she denied it. But this is proof that you do!” Sierra replied. “I…don’t. I’m her friend and like she said, I care about her,” Garrett said. “Don’t lie to me, Mr. Nickelsen!” Sierra carped. “You told me you did! You told me you adored her!” “Sierra…don’t,” I heard Garrett whisper. “Oh,” Sierra whispered back. “I get it.” “U-Um, we should go to John, Pat, and Kenny,” I told them, starting to walk into the mall.

31 December 08

Tell Me That You Love Me ;;Garrett Nickelsen;; 1

His blue eyes met mine, which made my heart melt. They were gorgeous, along with his brown hair and his smile. I’ve never met anyone like him. He was pretty much perfect.

“Hi,” Garrett Nickelsen of The Maine said to me, with a smile on his face. “Hi,” I replied. “Will you sign my shoes?” I put them on the measly bar of wood that separated us. “Sure,” he told me, taking the cap off of his Sharpie. He wrote “GARRETT” in big, black letters on my white Converse hi-tops. “And my phone case, my glasses, my sunglasses, and my shirt?” I asked. “Of course,” he said, giggling. “You have a lot of things for me to sign.” I giggled, too.

After he signed everything, we took a Polaroid picture. And he signed that, also. “Wow, that’s a nice picture of me,” Garrett said, smugly. “You’re eyes stand out so much in it,” I told him, smiling at the picture. “I love it.” I looked up into his eyes in reality. “I’ve been told that a lot,” he said, looking back into my brown eyes. “But it sounds special coming from you.”

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and slid it open. “What is it?” Sierra Kusterbeck asked me. “Oh, it’s just a text,” I told her, opening the message.

Hey. What are you doing?

“From who?” she asked, looking at my phone screen. “Oh…From Garrett.” “What?” I asked, meaning the tone of voice she was using. “What?” she asked back. “It’s just…you guys are always hanging out. Are you guys a…thing now?” “No, Sierra,” I replied, pressing buttons to reply to Garrett’s message.

Just hanging with Sierra. Why?

“Are you sure?” Sierra smiled. “Yes, I’m sure,” I replied. “Alright,” she said. “I believe you.” My phone buzzed again.

You guys wanna go to the mall?

“What did he say?” Sierra asked, jumping on my back and looking over my shoulder. “Okay! I’ll go.”  I shook her off. “Why? Do you want to keep an eye on us or something?” I asked her. “…No,” she replied, fakely. “Whatever,” I told her, giggling.

Sure.

My phone rang, “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers. “Now he’s calling?” Sierra asked. “You have a weird boyfriend.” “Shut up,” I said and playfully pushed her. I accepted the call.

“Hey, Garrett,” I said. “Hi,” he replied. “So…do you want me to pick you guys up? Or do you want to meet us there?” “Who’s ‘we’?” I asked. “Oh. It’s me, John, Kennedy, and Pat,” he replied. “What about Jared?” I asked. “He’s tired and wants to take a nap,” Garrett said. “Oh, Jared…” I sighed. “It’s not going to be the same without him.” “What?” Sierra asked. “Jared’s not coming?” I shrugged. “I guess not.” “So do you want me to pick you guys up? Where are you at?” Garrett asked. “Um…Let me asked Sierra,” I told him. I turned my attention when to Sierra, who was pressing her ear against my phone. “Can he pick us up? I really don’t feel like driving. And you never like to drive,” she said. I nodded. “Can you pick us up? Please?” I asked him. “Where are you at?” he said.

“We’re outside VE’s hotel. It’s not that far from your hotel.”

“I know where it is.” He giggled. “We’ll be there in about 5 minutes. Bye!”

“Bye, Garrett!” I slid my phone close.

“So…?” Sierra asked, pulling away from my head. “You didn’t hear what he said when you were practically kissing me?” I asked, giggling. She shook her head, no. “He said he’ll be here in 5,” I informed. “Alright,” she said, sitting on a nearby bench.

22 December 08

Untitled (Story) — || 5 ||

“Where’d Chris go?” Greta asked, walking to me. I didn’t answer her. I just walked up to my room, ignoring everything she said. “Hayley, answer me! Don’t leave without telling me! Hayley!” she’d said. She ran up to me. “What’s your problem?” she asked. “Nothing,” I replied, emotionless. I opened the “Only Me” room door to talk to Alex, but he had already left. I closed the door gently and sat down on the couch, thinking about what Chris said. About his facial expressions, his tone, his hand movements. Him.

Was it happening now? Am I doing what I think I’m doing? Am I falling for Chris? No. NO. NO. I can’t be…it’ll ruin our friendship. But…what if he was falling for me? He was acting weird. Oh man. I can’t think anymore. This is all so overwhelming. All those thoughts were floating in my head.

I picked up my guitar and strummed the bridge for Paramore’s song, “My Heart.”

♫ This heart, it beats, beats for only you.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you…

Oh.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.

My heart is yours

I sighed. Someone banged on my door, which caused me to drop my guitar. I picked it up and walked to the door, inspecting my guitar. It cracked a bit on the side. I opened the door, ready to scold whoever it was. It was Chris.

I couldn’t do it to him. His eyes were staring into mine. I smiled. “Um…Sorry if I bothered you,” he said. He looked at my guitar. “Did I do that?” I nodded. “I’m so sorry. I’ll get you a new one, I promise,” he told me, apologetically. “No, no. You don’t have to,” I told him. “But I want to.” He smiled. “I’m sorry I just left you. I just…didn’t want you to find out,” he said.

“What?” I asked. “I…love you,” he said. Love? I thought. “Just tell me one thing,” I said, acting as if I didn’t hear what he just said. “I will,” he said. “Why was Greta stroking your hair?” I asked. “She said had something in my hair,” he said. “But she was lying.” “Yeah. She may look cute and innocent. She acts like it around her mom. But she’s just a two-faced backstabber,” I said. “Really? What did she do to you?” he asked.

“Remember how I liked Jake…a lot?”

“Yes.”

“Well…I told her and asked her to tell him for me and then tell me what he says. I also asked her to ask him to the Fall Dance for me. She asked him to the Fall Dance with her. Then, at the dance, she told him and he said he liked me back. But then Greta told me that he hated me.”

“How do you know this?”

“Jake told me everything.”

“This is confusing.”

“Well…After the dance, Greta tried to get with him, but he rejected her. Then like…2 weeks later, he asked me out on a date. But I had to reject him because I was going out with Grant. Then I asked him why he’d asked me out if he hated me. And…you know where this is going, right?”

“Yeah. She’s awful.”

“Yes. But I have to be nice to her or she’ll tell Aunt Kate. And then Aunt Kate will get mad at me for being mean and ground me and shit like that.”

He hugged me. But this time he didn’t let go. “Hey, Hayles –” Alex stopped mid-sentence when he opened the door and saw me and Chris holding each other. “Oh. Um…sorry if I interrupted. I’ll just leave you two lovebirds alone,” he said, walking out slowly. “Hey!” I yelled. “Come back here.” He peered in the room. “Yes?” he asked. “What did you want to know?” I asked.

Posted: 10:22 PM

Untitled (Story) — || 4 ||

“Gabe’s smoking. I know I should’ve stopped him, but I…I don’t know. I really regret not stopping him. Smoking is horrible. And you went because of it. You were the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You’re my inspiration.” I smiled as I got up and walked out of the closet. I saw Alex sitting on the couch. “What the heck?!” I yelled, obviously startled. “How did you get in?” “You left it opened,” he said. “What? No I didn’t,” I argued. “Yes, you did. There was a little crack.” He sounded emotionless. “Is something wrong?” I asked, trying to sound concerned, even though I didn’t care right then. “I’m just really sorry for what happened,” he said, his voice shaky. “It’s okay,” I said, even though I was still hurt on the inside from when he slapped me. He gave me a half-smile. That’s all I needed from him. I forgave him. Even if I didn’t say it out loud, I could tell he knew I was cool with him now.

Alex just stared at me. His stare reminded me of Chris’s never-ending gaze. Warm tears started streaming down my face. “What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly concerned. “I-I,” I stammered. “I…I just… miss Chris a lot.” I said, trying to speak clearly. “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked befuddled. “You were staring at me. Your eyes reminded me of Chris’s,” I told him, looking into his hazel eyes. “Hayles…” he trailed off and hugged me tight enough for me to choke. “Sorry,” he said, pushing away. “It’s alright.” I gave him a warm smile. Alex picked up my guitar and started playing some chords from ‘Cute Without The E (Cut From The Team)’ by Taking Back Sunday. He knew that that was one of the many songs that cheer me up.

I grinned and side-hugged him. There was a knock at the door and it opened slowly. Gabe walked in and sat next to me. Alex glared at Gabe and stayed quiet as Gabe told me something that I couldn’t believe.

“Hayley, this is important. Really, really important.” I nodded, telling him to talk. “Chris didn’t die. He ran away,” he told me. “What?!” I yelled. I heard my aunt ask if I was okay. “Yeah, I’m okay!” I yelled back to her. “How?” I said, lowering my voice. “The funeral.” “I don’t know how he did it, but he did it. Him and his brothers somehow pulled it off,” Gabe told me.

“Oh my God,” I said, shocked and mad. “Why didn’t he tell me?! I cried for 2 months!” I felt rage take over. I took my phone out and dialed Chris’s number. No answer. “How did you find out?” I asked Gabe, practically yelling at him. “Greta told me,” he said. I could hear panic and fear in his voice. I ran downstairs to Greta’s room. I opened the door and I saw her stroking Chris’s hair. I stood there, eyes widened. “Knock first!” Greta yelled at me and threw her water bottle at me, but I dodged it. I pulled Chris by his v-neck and dragged him to behind the staircase. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered, loudly. “I-I…How did you even find out?” he asked. “Gabe,” I replied. But when I said his name, it didn’t sound like my voice. It sounded like someone who just had their heart broken.

Before I knew it, I was crying. “No, Hayley! Don’t cry!” Chris begged, hugging me tightly. The smell of Axe, lotion, and soap made me get butterflies in my stomach. “Who told Gabe?” he asked, sweetly. “Greta,” I said through sobs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he said, kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?” I asked him. He didn’t respond. “Why?” I repeated. “Because…I…I really don’t know,” he replied, sounding as if he was about to break down crying. “I’m sorry,” he said, quietly. I looked up into his hazel eyes, which were filled with tears. “I should… go now,” he said. “Where are you staying at?” I asked. “Jeremy’s house,” he said. “Jeremy?” I said.

“You know him?”

“Yeah. Well…kind of. Greta introduced me to him today at school.”

“Isn’t he good-looking?”

“Yeah. He has a nice face.”

“So….you like guys with hazel-ish eyes?”

“What?”

“Brendon has hazel eyes. Your first boyfriend, Grant, had green eyes. And Jeremy has hazel eyes.

“And I have hazel eyes.” I looked at him, startled. He was smiling. “Um…” I started. I didn’t know what to say. “Greta told me,” he said. “Oh. Um…this is awkward,” I told him, looking away. “But…I don’t like you like that.” “Oh. Um…like I said…I-I should go now,” he said, sounding embarrassed. “Wait, wait…wait. Do you like me like that or something?” I asked, very curious. “No. I really have to go. Bye,” he told me, walking towards the door. He grabbed the knob and left, leaving me wondering.

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh